This is too exciting. I can't open it yet.
Here goes.
Dear Aunty Beccs,
I am a cat and I am writing to you today to discuss very important business.
Right meow might be the only time you will be able to help the Glorious Cat Nation in our fight against that most insidious of beasts.
Please don't stop reading! This is not the same old race war that has been going on for centuries between cats and dogs. In fact, both the Glorious Cat Nation and the Unified Pack of Dogs have sent delegates to a neutral meeting place to discuss this beast, a threat that threatens both of our livelihoods.
I am talking, of course, about the sloth.
Sloths may be slow and have a ridiculous smile painted on their faces like a mockery of a kabuki mask, but their patience has its rewards: they are taking over the internet not in leaps and bounds, but more like black mould takes over your bathroom under the linoleum when you aren't looking.
Please help us end this plague. Spread the word: sloths are the manifestation of a deadly sin, and they're slow, and they can't catch mice worth shit.
Every time one of your social media contacts denounces a sloth after your initial denouncement, a LOLCAT is saved.
Thank you for your time today.
Sincerely,
Cat
Okay, time to open it and see what that cat actually wrote.
Also.
Here, have some stickers with your name spelled wrong.
LAME.
