Magpie Confessionals: Baking Cookies

You've met Magpie before. Here's her first knowing submission to 800 Thousand.

________________________________

Hi. My husband, Noolbenger, is out of town, so it's just me, the dog and the kid. I decided to quickly make cookies while Cobrastarshine had a nap (screamfest).


Red Panda's chocolate chip cookie recipe said to use half margine and half shortening. I don't have shortening and figured that since I don't really like my Grandmother's cookies (she uses all margarine) I would use half marg and half coconut oil.


Coconut oil is really hard and I don't have a cookie making machine. You know the thing that goes whhhrrr with the things that go into the batter (Baking beater? I know it has beaters. Doesn't matter, you know what I mean.). So I had to nuke my butters. Which STUNK (I hate melted marg smell) and made my batter look like mud. Also, how the hell are the chocolate chips supposed to stick to oily melty batter? They just slide right off. So after trying really really hard to get the chips mashed into the batter I gave up and grabbed fistfulls of the gunk and dropped them onto my parchment paper-covered cookie sheet.


No. I did not use parchment paper because I like to be fancy. I used it because I dislike doing dishes.


At any rate. They look okay. They are all different sizes because variety is the spice of life. Not because I am lazy and don't give a shit.

I know.  The oven is a mess.

I know this because it caught fire once.

 I was expecting this to be a disaster. But it looks like food.

So...

Verdict = really tasty.  However coconut oil doesn't really sit well with me, which means I can't eat four in one sitting.  Maybe that's a good thing?

Cobrastarshine is trying to eat a truck.

Too young for cookies? Eff that.

________________________________

Red Panda here, and I approve this anticlimax. I do not, however, approve of coconuts unless they are in macaroons.