Lost Items

This afternoon, I forgot my keys at the office for the second time this week.


It's been a rough week.


The first time, I left the office at 11:00 am to run home and grab my camera so I could take some pics for the office's trip to Taste of Edmonton. That time, I only made it as far as the street corner by the office before I realized my keys were in my backpack, and me with my purse instead. I ran back upstairs, grabbed my keys, ran back down, ran to the condo, grabbed the camera, and ran back.


It sucked.


But it didn't suck as much as this afternoon sucked.


This afternoon, I checked the temperature before leaving the office to determine whether I should wear my coat. It's a lovely sunshine-yellow coat. The CEO, who was in absurdly early this morning, commented on it when he saw me arrive ten minutes late (aaaawkward).


With a humidex of 29 degrees, I decided that the coat could bloody well stay in the office. I proceeded to Sobey's to get some milk and other amenities for dinner. I was hungry, so I ended up also buying sour cream, frozen shrimp, plums, and a bag of Lay's (depending on my mood, they can be as irresistable as Hawkin's Cheezies).

Here, you can see my nephew, Cobrastarshine, as mesmerized by a Lay's commercial as I was until I noticed how mesmerized he was, and snapped a pic. Thesis: Lay's chips obsession is genetic.

It wasn't until I arrived home that I realized my keys were not in my backpack, where I usually put them, but in the pocket of my yellow coat.


I'd cleaned my office this afternoon because it was so messy I simply could not do any work, but in my head, all I could think was,

I didn't fancy carrying two bags of cold, sweating groceries back to the office, so I tried the buzzer. The buzzer goes to Hawk's phone. Hawk would be driving, but that never stops him from answering the phone.


But it did this time. I thought, "Maybe it's because he didn't recognize the number. I wish he'd save the buzzer as a contact," and tried calling him from my phone.


He didn't answer my call, either. Silently cursing Hawk, I gathered up my bags, and then followed the next person into the building, which that person was not supposed to let me do because I might have been a criminal element.


I dropped off my groceries outside the door of the condo in the suddenly sinister hallway. Shuddering in apprehension, I gave my doorknob a try, just in case I'd been an idiot first thing in the morning, too, and hadn't locked the door.


No such luck.


I gave the groceries a final look and hoped there was no criminal element living on my floor, then headed back out, untucking my chambray blouse from my black lace skirt. The sweat around my waist was becoming unbearable.


I charged out the lobby of the condo building and hit a red light at 104th St. I charged along 102 Ave, praying my shrimp weren't defrosting, and hit a red light at 103rd St. My phone buzzed. It was Hawk. "Did you just call me?" I explained the situation. He explained his: his phone had been on silent. It didn't matter. There was nothing more to be done.


I charged across 103rd St and down 102 Ave. I waited for the red light at 102nd St, crossed 102nd St, then was inside and charging up the escalator. Halfway up, to be precise, where a lady and a suitcase were stopped and I had to wait, elevator music playing in my head.


I charged and charged some more, bursting into my (much tidier) office, and grabbing my keys from the pocket of my yellow jacket. I made my egress.


Whom should I meet in the hallway moments later but the CEO, wondering where the jaunty yellow jacket from this morning was?


Embarrassed, I burst home.


Step 1: Secure groceries. Cold stuff still cold. Relief.


Step 2: Remove high heels.


Step 3: Reduce clothing to underpants. Sweaty blouse and tights triumphantly thrust into the laundry.


Step 4: Realise hat is still on head, remove hat.


Step 5: Pour a bowl of chips, crack open a club soda, and settle on the couch to finish one of Hawk's birthday books.


Step 6: Realise this was one of my more spastic afternoons (ever). Enjoy feeling of pride.