I wrote this vignette to cheer up a friend (who shall remain nameless), and decided it was the perfect piece to publish on a snowstormy November evening.
Constipation is Serious Business
You're sitting across a table from your intestines. Your colon is across from you; to his right is your large intestine; to his left is your anus.
You write a number on a piece of paper, fold it, and slide it across the table. Your colon pauses, then reaches out, slides it the rest of the way toward himself, then opens it, reads it, looks at you, raises one eyebrow, and leans over and shows the paper to the large intestine, who also raises an eyebrow.
The colon and the large intestine look over to the anus, who doesn't even need to see the paper to give an almost imperceptible shake of the head. Colon refolds the paper and places it on the table. With one finger, he slides it back and forth in front of him in a graceful arc before picking it up one more time.
Without reading it, he tears it in half and flings it in your face. In unison, your guts stand up and leave the room.
You sit still, aghast, with nothing to do but pick up the pieces of paper, wait until no one can see you, and exit the washroom.
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