Serious Things

"I'm really glad you're writing again," said Mum, "but you should write something serious."

At first, I was affronted.  No one wants to read serious stuff, though why anyone is reading the ridiculously silly things I put on here is beyond me.  If Graham Whatsisface from Monty Python were still around he'd be in here with his stick shutting me down for being too silly.

I don't know where I got the silly streak from.  Certainly not from Mum.

Yes, that is a tea cosy on her head.

Certainly not from Dad.

Magpie didn't inherit any silliness.

And her kid?  He's not getting an early start on the foolishness by any means.

Apparently Canada has a big child exploitation problem so I'm protecting his identity.

Yes.  This kid means nothing but BUSINESS.

Identity: safe.

Now that we have established how I came to be the black sheep of my family, I dedicate this post to Mum.  I'm going to write about the most serious thing in the world.  Food.

Here is a reason food is serious.  

Food can bring people together.  How so?

Well, one thing Sandcat and I love to talk about (ceaselessly) is how hungry we are and how we are going to eat the universe.  Sandcat is a vegetarian, and I am an omnivore, but we get along great. Sandcat won't eat meat.  But she's okay with my carnivorous activities, and tolerates my drooling descriptions of meatballs, meaty lasagna, and even turkey meatloaf, with what appears to be fascination (possibly of the morbid variety).  

Sandcat has taught me that vegetarian food is more than tofu, and that it is delicious.  Together we drink coffee, tea, and Aranciata Rossa.  We eat pie, cookies, and paneer.  We both live downtown, so it is advantageous to discuss where to get the most delicious food.  Oh!  And the places to eat downtown!  I would never have discovered one of my favourites, Khazana, if it weren't for Sandcat.

Here is a serious story about food.

Once upon a time (approximately three weeks ago), I was headed into the Sobey's on 104th St and two young ladies were headed out of that same Sobey's.  I caught a wisp of their conversation as we passed each other like ships in the night.  (Sorry!  The silly is in my blood!)  One of them said "There aren't any good restaurants downtown.  It's better when you get to Whyte Ave ..." and then I was in the store.

My blood was boiling.

She was on 104th St.  ONE HUNDRED AND FOURTH STREET.

Let me tell you about 104th St people.  I'm not going to do it in sentences.  I don't have to.  Within two blocks of Jasper Avenue, one block north, and one block south, you have:

• Transcend Coffee, also serves South American morsels
• The Free Press Bistro
• The Blue Plate
• Tzin Wine Bar
• Lit Italian Wine Bar
• Credo
• Ric's Grill
• Dauphine (formerly Queen of Tarts)
• Bubble Buzz

Say what?  All that in one tiny area?  I went home and started yelling at Hawk in a rage.  Well, I wasn't yelling at him.  I was yelling TO him ABOUT these idiot people.  Poor guy.  I wonder if he listens when I do that.

Here is a serious restaurant review.

I'm writing this very serious blog entry at a table in Transcend.  I just finished a ginger molasses cookie (crispy on the outsides, soft and chewy on the inside, sparkly and radiant with sugar) and an Americano, which I take black.  The coffee itself was sweet and light with bitter edges.  It was delicious.

Originally, this was going to be a review of the new Remedy Cafe open downtown.  But when I went there, the music was loud and sucky (just like last time) and they didn't have any empty seats, even though there weren't a whole lot of people there.  They don't have enough seating in that place.  The South Side location may be an utter dive, but at least there are seats.

I think I'll give Remedy downtown one more chance, but it'll be a late-night chance.  You see, I want them to succeed, because they are open until midnight.  Like a cafe in a real city.  One of these days, I'll head out there at the unholy hour of 9:00 pm and see if I can get a seat.  I'll be sure to let you know how that goes.

Here is a serious photo of a parking lot with a less serious caption.

So, Mum, boring enough for you? I mean serious!  SERIOUS!  Let me know in the comments.